"Are you ready for the holidays".... ugh.

Everywhere we go this time of year, we hear the same question: “Are you ready for Christmas?” It comes up in the grocery store, at work, in small talk with friends, even tossed casually at the studio doors before class. It’s meant to be lighthearted, but depending on the year you’re having (and the life you’re living) it can land with a thud.

Most years, my answer is pretty honest: not really. I’m usually the one who starts Christmas shopping around December 21st. I don’t have a huge list of people to buy for, so I don’t tend to get too worked up over it. But I’ve been talking with a lot of women lately who do feel the pressure. The organizing, the spending, the trying to make everything feel magical. The mental load. The emotional load. That feeling of being behind before you even start.

So here’s something you might need to hear:

Three weeks from now, Christmas Day and Boxing Day will be over.

Four weeks from now, the entire season will be behind us.

It will come, and it will go, whether we’re “ready” or not.

And readiness looks different for every woman because life looks different for every woman.

The holidays shift as our lives shift. I’ve lived that. When I went through my divorce and suddenly had to manage Christmas differently with the kids, different traditions, and complicated emotions, it changed the season for me. Add in messed up family dynamics over the years, and the holidays can sometimes feel full of sour emotions.

And I know a lot of you understand this in your own ways, because many women carry far more into December than they ever say out loud.

I’ve also been through financial strain during the holidays. One year, I couldn’t afford gifts for my kids at all. I was too proud to ask for help, but a friend stepped in quietly and adopted us for Christmas. They gathered donations and made sure my kids had presents under the tree. Another year, I was working on Christmas Eve, sitting at my desk in tears trying to figure out how I could make Christmas Day special with what little money I had, when my oldest child called to tell me we had run out of oil at the house. The panic, the heartbreak, the feeling of not knowing how to fix everything.... it was all there at once. Both of those stories ended well, and they are reminders that sometimes life gives us a hand when we need it most. But the point of sharing them isn’t the happy ending. It’s to say: I get it. I really do. I know what it feels like to try to hold it all together, especially during the time of year that’s supposed to be “magical.”

And in the middle of all this….

We’re scrolling past perfectly curated holiday photos on social media. Perfect trees. Perfect outfits. Perfect smiles. Perfect families in matching pajamas. But behind those photos, everyone has something. No one is perfect. No family is perfect. No holiday is perfect. Social media only shows the best two seconds of someone’s day… not the stress, the tears, the tension, the grief, the financial juggling, the loneliness, or the complicated histories that many of us may carry. So if your holiday doesn’t look picture-perfect, or if your emotions don’t match the holiday soundtrack, nothing is wrong with you. You’re just living real life and you don’t have to pretend everything is great.

A lot of women come into this season holding big emotions. Stress. Sadness. Guilt. Anger. Anxiety. Grief. Maybe your family looks different this year. Maybe your finances look different. Maybe someone is missing. Maybe traditions have changed. Maybe relationships are strained. Maybe you’re doing the best with what you have. It’s all allowed. You don’t have to pretend December is joyful if it doesn’t feel that way.

You’re allowed to feel the big feelings. You just don’t have to live in them forever.

Part of taking care of yourself this time of year is recognizing what actually supports you and your mental well-being.

Sometimes that means giving yourself a breather- stepping outside, taking a quiet drive, or closing your bedroom door for ten minutes.

Sometimes it means forcing yourself to be social, even if you don’t feel like it, because you know you’ll genuinely feel better after.

Sometimes it means moving your body- coming to fitness class and letting a workout shake the stress loose.

Sometimes it means going to yoga. That hour where your breath slows, your shoulders soften, and you feel grounded again.

Support can also look like accepting help. Saying yes when a friend offers to watch the kids, help with something, or just take you out for a coffee. Letting someone show up for you without feeling guilty about it. And sometimes it means asking for help yourself- reaching out, admitting you’re struggling, and allowing someone to step in. You’re allowed to receive, not just give.

And through all of this, you get to remind yourself that it’s okay if you’re not ready for Christmas. It’s okay if you’re not excited. It’s okay if this year feels heavy or complicated or uncertain. You’re not doing anything wrong… you’re moving through the season with a human heart and a real life.

This holiday season will come and go the way it always does. What matters most is how you treat yourself while it’s here. Be gentle. Be patient. Take moments when you need them. Push yourself when it will help. Rest when that’s the right choice. Let yourself feel your feelings. And then, when you’re ready, take one small step toward something that supports your wellbeing.

Four weeks from now, the season will be behind us. But you’ll still be here…. showing up, learning, navigating, and living your life with honesty and heart. Not perfectly. Just authentically.

And that is more than enough.

Until next Sunday,

Rachel xo

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